Doi tipi se ciocnesc din greseala

Doi tipi se ciocnesc din greseala intr-un supermarket. Primul tip catre celalalt:
- Imi cer mii de scuze, ma uitam dupa nevasta-mea!
- Sincer, si eu ma uit dupa a mea, Cred ca ne-am ratacit.
- Dar cum arata sotia dvs? Poate mergem sa le cautam impreuna!
- Inalta, picioare lungi, 90 - 60 - 90, dar a dvs?
- Nu mai conteaza, hai s-o cautam pe a ta!...

Trei tipi mor si ajung la poarta Raiului

Trei tipi mor si ajung la poarta Raiului. Sf Petru ii intreaba: - De cate ori v-ati inselat nevestele? - Eu niciodata in 30 de ani de casnicie, raspunde primul. - Foarte bine, uite ai aici un Mercedes sa te plimbi in Rai. - Eu o singura data in 40 de ani de casnicie, spune al doilea. - Nu e chiar atat de grav, se iarta. Uite un Hyundai sa mergi cu el prin rai. - Eu de vreo 10 ori in 20 ani de casnicie, raspunde ultimul. - Aoleu, ce rau ai fost. Insa pentru ca ai fost cinstit, uite un Logan sa mergi cu el prin Rai. Dupa cativa ani se intalnesc cel cu Loganul si cel cu Mercedesul la un stop. Cel cu Mercedes plangea. - De ce plangi omule? Ce s-a intamplat? - Uite... a murit nevasta-mea ieri... - Asa, si? - Si am vazut-o azi prin Rai .. pe role...

US Fidelis quits paying refunds

US Fidelis, the beleaguered Wentzville-based seller of extended auto service contracts, has stopped paying refunds to consumers who cancel such protection plans, according to executives at two companies that administer the contracts. The change means tens of thousands of consumers could find it much more difficult to get hundreds of dollars in refunds that are supposed to be guaranteed in Missouri, Illinois and most other states. US Fidelis spokesman Ken Fields, of the Fleishman-Hillard public relations firm, would not say whether the company has stopped contributing to cancellation refunds. When consumers want to cancel coverage, US Fidelis "will work with the customer and the relevant administration company to address that customer's situation," according to a company statement. If regulators force those administration companies to cover US Fidelis' portion of the refunds, the consequences would be "unprecedented" and could threaten to bring down some of those firms, said Paul Stratch, chief financial officer of American Auto Shield, a service contract administrator based in the Denver area that did business with US Fidelis. Extended service contracts are canceled for a variety of reasons. Sometimes, consumers are unhappy with the coverage. Other times, the plans are dropped because the vehicle is about to be sold, gets repossessed or is simply no longer usable. When that happens, consumers get one check for the unused portion of the coverage. But that payment usually comes from two different companies that had made money on the sale of the contract. Most comes from the contract's marketer — companies like US Fidelis that sell the coverage — and the rest comes from the service contract administrator, which pays out claims. Stratch said US Fidelis recently told his company that it would no longer contribute to customer refunds and that it would refer canceling customers to administration firms like American Auto Shield, which was formerly known as Warranty America. Service contract marketers have failed in the past, and when they have, administration firms have often picked up the full cost of cancellation refunds. But US Fidelis' inability to pay refunds is different from those cases, Stratch said, because there never has been a service contract seller as big as US Fidelis. "Nobody else came close to their kind of volume," he said. In its heyday, US Fidelis employed more than 1,100 people and claimed to be the nation's leading seller of the auto service contracts, which were often marketed as "extended warranties." But over the last two years, the company has suffered a stunning collapse. Watchdog groups have said US Fidelis sells coverage that is virtually useless for many of its customers. Automakers accused the company of misusing their trademarks; class-action lawsuits have been filed, claiming deceptive trade practices. And an investigation of the company continues, involving 43 states. Late last year, US Fidelis laid off several hundred workers before announcing it would no longer sell the contracts. The company said it would keep a skeleton crew at its sprawling call center, at Interstate 70 and Highway 40, to provide customer service to the approximately 300,000 vehicle owners who had bought coverage from the firm. Those consumers bought service contracts that typically range in price from $2,000 to $4,000 — depending on the age of the vehicle and the level of coverage. The contract's cost usually is financed over 18 to 24 months, but the coverage period often lasts four years or more. That means many customers canceling a contract are entitled to a pro-rated refund for the unused part of the service contract. Customers who have driven only half the maximum miles over half of the calendar life of the protection, for instance, are entitled to a refund of half the cost of the contract. Stratch said American Auto Shield will pay both its share of refunds and US Fidelis' portion. He said his firm won't take a big financial hit because US Fidelis sold fewer than 1,000 service contracts from American Auto Shield. "But this is going to be a huge liability for other companies," Stratch said. "They could try not to pay (US Fidelis' portion), but the states are going to make sure customers get their refunds one way or another." Tim Schuur, president of Houston-based Tier One Warranty Services, said US Fidelis also told his company it would stop paying into customer refunds. Schuur said that his company would continue to pay its portion of refunds owed to canceling US Fidelis consumers but that Tier One alone shouldn't have to cover US Fidelis' obligations to canceling customers. "The lender needs to get involved," he said. "Mepco needs to get involved." That's Chicago-based Mepco Finance Corp., a subsidiary of Independent Bank, of Ionia, Mich., that financed most of the auto service contracts sold by US Fidelis. It's also the company's biggest creditor, and last month it became US Fidelis' landlord. Executives at Mepco did not respond to a request for comment. Travis Ford, a spokesman for the Missouri Department of Insurance, said consumers who cancel their service contracts and can't get the pro-rated refund owed to them should file complaints with the agency.

Enjoy Online Casino Game

Many online casinos provide free online games as a way to encourage potential players to their online casino games. Most online games are easy to load onto your computer and the players can choose between the casino and the schedules online video poker, roulette and even online play craps online. The players are provided with virtual tokens to play and since these games are free, you will not need to provide a credit card or other payment device. In many cases, you must also download the files necessary to play free online games. It's very simple; just follow the instructions to start.  Many of these online casino games such as roulette, video poker are fun to play, and the action is just as important as in a real casino. Play blackjack, roulette and other games of slots for fun or for real money.  Once you decide to start playing for real money, you'll need to spend your free online games and open an account and provide all your details and preferred payment method. Once you have transferred funds to your account, you'll be able to go play games online free play credits. Sometimes online casinos offer casino bonus when you go online games free to play a game for real money. Whether you play casino poker, craps and roulette, , you will enjoy the sounds and action of these online casinos.  The games are free online books with many of the same sounds and action items that you can see live casino. You can disable the sound, but many people like to hear the sound of the slot machine or whether they are games to play, especially when they win a jackpot. As you play a lot of these free online games, you sometimes run out of funds. Since the game is free, you just have to take steps to add more credits to your virtual account and continue to play. If you play roulette or any other gambling, and that your account is depleted, you will need to take steps to add more money to your credit card or bank account. Play for fun on one of these free online games on your home computer.  Today, the online casino offers an excellent form of entertainment that allows players to enjoy top casino entertainment in the comfort of home. Convenience plays a big role in online games players in May to choose a time and place to enjoy games over the Internet. Online games met the player away from the interruption of viewers and other visitor's of casino enjoy the privacy of a location of choice.  Today, it is possible to play exciting casino games without leaving the front door. When you play online casino, players are also presented with the opportunity to win real cash prizes. There is a wide range of games that have been adapted for online play. The majority, if not all the best casino games available on terrestrial casinos, are now available in upgraded versions of the best online casino games. The game enthusiasts will find many games, blackjack to roulette.  The introduction of the proceeds from the chance to experience real casino games for many people who have never visited a casino brick and mortar. Online games have proven to be easily accessible and easy to play and therefore a form of entertainment fun. A wide range of games, the player has a game varied and entertaining encounter. The innovation of online casino games has made the game accessible to many people throughout the world. This makes top casino games available at the touch of your fingertips.

IrinaMitrovici-Viral Marketing Campaigns Drive Targeted Traffic

Viral marketing is a great way to use the power and nature of the Internet to reach a large number of people quickly and drive a continually growing flood of targeted web traffic to your website. With a successful viral marketing campaign, your website traffic could go from almost nothing to thousands of hits or even hundreds of thousands of hits per day almost overnight. Viral marketing is a term used for marketing campaigns that grow and spread like a human or computer virus. In a successful viral campaign, people pass the marketing material on socially so that the marketing campaign grows like a snowball rolling down hill. The basic idea of viral marketing is that you can increase your sales by increasing your targeted website traffic and you can increase your targeted web traffic by giving away or spreading something for free that people will pass on to their friends, family, or business associates like a virus. Viral campaigns may spread through emails or eBooks that people pass on or through articles or viral videos that people pass on. Microsoft's Hotmail service was probably one of the biggest early successes of viral marketing. Free web-based email is common today, but it was a new concept in 1996 when Microsoft first promoted Hotmail by adding a short advertising teaser at the end of its users' email messages. Who would have ever expected how big the results of this marketing campaign could be? But as huge as the success of Microsoft's viral marketing campaign was for Hotmail, it only set the stage for what was to come during the 2004 American presidential campaign. Who can forget JibJab's flash animation political parody of George Bush and John Kerry singing, "This Land Is Your Land?" By marrying the concept of flash video on the Web to viral marketing, JibJab took the Internet by storm. According to Internet statistician ComScore Media Metrix, the viral video received over 10.4 million unique hits in July 2004 - more than three times as many visitors as the official campaign websites of the two presidential candidates! Now you may never experience the phenomenal success that JibJab did with one of your viral marketing campaigns, but the concept is simple and easily implemented. It works on the idea that if people like something or can profit from something, they will pass it on to their friends, family, and associates. Viral marketing can be as simple as writing an article and having it published in article directories where newsletter publishers and webmasters may pick it up and republish it. Be sure to include an author bio or resource box at the bottom of every article that includes your name, your website link, and a call to action that entices people to click on your link. Webmasters and publishers are always looking for great content, so be sure to provide value. Alternatively, you could send a funny, informative, or controversial newsletter to your subscriber list. Be sure to encourage people to pass your newsletter on with a short note at the bottom of your newsletter. When people click through to your website, you would like to capture their email address and get their permission to contact them. Otherwise, they will often surf away, never to be seen again on your website. Squeeze pages (pages primarily designed to get subscribers) are one proven way to do this, and offering people a free eBook or free report is a great way to get people to subscribe to your newsletter. Want to kick your viral marketing campaign into even higher gear? Grant people the rights to give away the free eBook or report to their own customers or contacts. Be sure to brand the eBook or report with links to your website, so that anyone who receives it from others will find their way back to your website. Also, if you let your customers rebrand some of the links with their affiliate links or other links, they will really be motivated to pass the eBook or report on! The Internet is perfect for viral marketing. This is one of the most powerful marketing techniques you can use on the Internet. Because many distribution channels are free (e.g., email and article directories) or relatively low cost (web hosting), viral marketing can be an incredibly cost-effective marketing technique. Once you have launched your marketing campaign, it can potentially grow and spread for years all by itself, making viral marketing possibly the most effective Internet marketing technique of all.

Bula (mic) cu ta-su la piscina

Bula (mic) cu ta-su la piscina. Merg ei pe marginea piscinei si Bula aluneca pe gresia uda. In ultima clipa, se apuca de p… lu’ ta-su si se salveaza.La care ta-su se uita in jos si ii zice cu dispret: – Vezi, ba, daca erai cu ma-ta iti spargeai capu’.

A Motorcyclist's Mid-Winter Frustration

One Christmas in the early 70's, I received a dazzling Huffy bicycle that continues to rank as one of my favorite presents of all time. This speed demon had a purple metallic-flake frame with shiny chrome fenders, ape hanger handle bars, and a special edition banana seat.  I couldn't wait to get outside to ride that beast! Only one problem; that Christmas day there was so much snow and ice covering the landscape that it was impossible to ride.  For seven straight days I woke up, looked out the window and wondered if this would be the day, and for seven straight days the answer was NO!  I was so freakin' frustrated! Fast forward some 30 years… Today I find myself dealing with that same frustration all over again. I have been unable to use any of my nifty stuff.  For seven days I have awakened, looked out the window and wondered if today would be the day, and for seven straight days the answer has been NO!  My frustration is accumulating like the 3 foot snow drift outside my window. So what's a guy to do?  How should I deal with all of this pent up frustration? Perhaps I should… double up my meds. lay in the snow while wearing my gear and make a snow angel. sing happy songs. ride the motorcycle carousel at Chuck E. Cheese My wife suggested I gear up, go to the garage and close all the doors, then start my bike and pretend I am riding for a half hour or how ever long it takes! :)  Any other ideas?

Bad car credit loan

One thing that most people will end up dealing with at some point in their life is purchasing a car. Owning a car is necessary for a lot of people who are looking to get transportation to and from different locations. It is not uncommon for a lot of people to have to drive a great distance to and from work. A car is a necessary expense for a lot of people who rely on transportation to get to and from work. If you are looking to apply for a no credit check car loan, you will need to find the right lender for your loan. The advantage that people with low credit scores have when it comes to applying for a car loan is that they are secured loans. Because they are secured loans it means that the risk is reduce for lenders because they have collateral for the loan. If you are to default on your loan, the lender would be able to seize the car back from you. Although auto loans are secured loans, they are not 100% secured. Because cars have tendency to depreciate at a very fast rate, lenders do bear some risk when offering these loans. One way that you can get a no credit check car loan approved is put extra collateral against the loan. You can put up other assets that you may have, which will help to further reduce the risk that lenders face. Also, be sure to look around at the different loans that are available because you might find a good deal for your loan. If you are interested in applying for a No Credit Check Car Loan the best place to start looking is online. Using the internet you can look up the different Auto Lenders that are available to give you a car loan.

Video Into HTML Software is the ultimate solution

Insert Video Into HTML Software is the ultimate solution for non-technical and professionals alike who simply want to upload video(s) onto their Site. If you plan to use digital movie(s) to promote products, services or sites, no doubt that this solution is something you should consider. If you search for solutions that'll enable you to convert your movie to Web format - read the following article. Quick overview Insert Video Into HTML Software enables you to upload videos to your Web by converting and compressing them to a highly popular file format called Flash-Video (.FLV). At this point you have completed about 80% of the process - by inserting a short html code to the desired Web page and posting the files to your Site's server your Webvideo(s) are ready for display. Your webvideos are now streaming files - the media is sent in a continuous stream and is played as it arrives. Benefits Let's examine some of the important advantages provided by this solution:  It is simply more convincing than writing another sales letter or newsletter. An excellent opportunity for you to display 'live' customers' testimonials. Quick and easy upload of your video files. Helps you to keep visitors on your site transforming them to email subscribers. Easily converts popular file formats such as: AVI, WMV, MOV, MPG, FLV, VOB, ASF, and MP4.  There are probably many other benefits provided by this technology, simply because it provides many other opportunities that help us promote our online business. Conclusions Insert Video Into HTML Software easily transforms digital movies conversions automatic, fun, and highly effective process. It is recommended to evaluate it as in most cases implementation requires no more than several minutes. http://music-video-122net-com.blogspot.com/

De ce fiecare castel din Scotia e bantuit ?

De ce fiecare castel din Scotia e bantuit de cate-o fantoma? Pentru ca e mult mai ieftin decat sa-ti iei un sistem de alarma.

N-ai tupeu

18:25 2/14 90% din copiii adolescenti ar plange daca Guta sau Salam ar fi in varfu` unei cladiri gata sa sara ! Da'i un shut la massu asta mai departe daca esti dintre acei 10% care ar lua un scaun , popcorn si o sticla de cola si ar striga : " N'ai tupeu !! "..

O blondă se întoarce fericită de la şcoala

O blondă se întoarce fericită de la şcoală: - Mamă, azi la şcoală am învăţat alfabetul. Toţi copiii îl ştiau până la litera D, numai eu am ştiut până la litera J. Uite: A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J. Mamă, sunt deşteaptă pentru că sunt blondă, nu? - Da, fata mamei, bravo!!! A doua zi: - Mamă, azi am învăţat să numărăm. Toţi copiii ştiau până la 5, numai eu am ştiut până la 10. Asta pentru că sunt blondă, nu?? - Da, bravo!!! A treia zi: - Mamă, azi am făcut sport şi la duş am văzut că toate fetele erau plate şi fără sâni, numai eu eram aşa frumoasă, cu sânii mari şi rotunzi; asta pentru că sunt blondă, nu? - Nu, fata mamii, asta, pentru că ai 25 de ani.

I receive spam. You?

I receive spam. You?

Ion si Gheorghe stau la taclale in batatura

O zi insorita de primavara. Ion si Gheorghe stau la taclale in batatura.
- Mai, ce vreme, murmura Ion.
- Da mai, faina vreme, zice si Gheorghe.
- Amu', tat' ce pui in pamant iese.
- Au, nu, sare Ion speriat, saptamana trecuta mi-am ingropat soacra.